How do I respond?Jess: One more time.Cece: Yeah, of course.Jess: I worked on something for you.Vice principal Tanya: You did that already, Jess.Jess: You would not dare.
Nick: Asked someone out?Nick: Winston, you told me the first week you got back from Latvia, you had a sex dream about Jess, and she had raccoon hands.Jess: He washed his hands in a public restroom.Cece: He has diabetes.Schmidt: No, no, Jess, Jess.Direct quote, Scott Caan.
Winston: I know all about sports.Cece: So you said you wanted to see me for something?Nick: Dirk is a genius!Schmidt, Winston, Cece and Paul go into Mrs.Schmidt: No, no, no.
Schmidt: What if Nick has an accident?You weigh more than your credit score.Schmidt: And there was a man in there.Cause you are gonna be the Underpants Captain tonight.These brains are terrible.
Jess: So nice to meet you, too, Carol.Winston: Yeah, I have nothing to add to this.Schmidt: You were the only one that I could talk to.Nick: And when I wear it, I feel hot to trot.Jess: So your hair just does this one thing, right?
Do it for the kids.Sarah: Is sexting cool?Nick: Okay, a shorty is not.Julia: There are, like, lots of girls coming in and out of this place?We could make it, like, a douche baby jar.
What is pumpkin pie?Jess: You heard me, bitch.Cece: Yeah, no, of course not, of course.Yeah, I found this place on 3rd Street where you can design your own perfume.Galileo, so I have to put on my beard.You know what I mean?
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Cece, the Jewish is here to make sex.Schmidt: Monsoon Bedding, The Best Erotic Maribone Hotel.Schmidt: I had a bad night.Cece: Such a weirdo.You want me to do.
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Oregon gave me, and I got a parking space.So much doing it.Jess: Oh, one shoe?Schmidt: Bros ever before the ho!Nick: Because college is so expensive these days.
Did you invite somebody named Paul to our house?Is that what you wanna hear?Jess: Oh, he does?Love than just semen!Cause nobody can be cool enough for cool Nick Miller.Jess: Eating cookies and avoiding confrontation.
Jess: I think I changed a life today, you guys.This teacher is muy caliente.Also, what happened to the refrigerator and the sofa?Pawnshop guy: You drew a smiley face.You look ravishing in your.Sarah: Have you done a 99?High five for sluts!
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Nick: Oh, so that was you.Why are you crying?Jess: Nick, they got married too young, they got divorced too young.Jess: Schmidt, come on!Only thing is, he thinks my name is Katie.And he teaches at my school.
Jess: I pay rent, so I think that gives me the right to add a few things.Nick: Not pig Latin.Schmidt: Is that like horny?That is two of my four favorite things.Schmidt: Any noises I make, they come from a very truthful place.Cece: What is happening in this loft?
He told me that.Are you ready to run?Sadie: I know my way around a Grizzly Adams.Schmidt: You look awesome.With the cupcakes, and the braking for birds, and.Cece: What are you doing?
Sadie: But it gets better with age.Why is the cast of The Social Network in our apartment?Really let your bones prop you up.Nick is the last person I kissed.Caroline: Well, it was nice to meet you.Give Me That Hat.They hate me, and I know why they hate me, too.
The makeup and your dress!Jess: Why do you just come in and you take over?Jess: I just want to have a mature conversation.Schmidt: Destiny might be a lady, but victory has a penis.Ellis Island in the 1800s.
Schmidt: Yes, I brought you a gift.But I love these kids.This is a feeling stick.Jess: Yes, I did.Cece: I got your text.Nick: Not even in my darkest moments did I do Urkel.
Winston: Again, why do you wanna see it?Jess: I give up!Nick: Is Sadie a gynecologist?Jess: Oh, I get it.Jess: That was the worst four weeks of my life.He thought I was a boy.Jess: Actually, Brorie, Sutton and Fife are in a triad, and Chaz is a floater.
Jess: I love these parties.Locker rooms, swimming pools, penis just happens.Stop stealing my stuff, Winston.Nick: Last item on the list.Nick: Then why did you ask me?Pawnshop guy: Are you trying to rob me?
Schmidt: Actually, it says that because.Schmidt gets so athletic that birth control becomes like one of those plastic barbecue covers in a hurricane.Jess: What am I going to do?Nick: I am so uncomfortable.Jess: You want my help?Winston: I want you to know, I really did love Walt.
This is worth three bowls of sweet, sweet meth.Nick: He was my dad.Nick: Not in fake Italian.Nick: Our old nut wrench is bad.So I just wanna apologize in advance for anything that she might do.Jess: Thank you very much.Nick: Yeah, he told me that too actually.
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Cece: Oh, no, no, no, this is my very good friend Schmidt, and he just came by to bring me a gift, so.Four to five times.What is your problem?Jess: Do you wanna learn how to play bridge?Over here is kosher yogurt and honey.
Cece: Would it just wanna nurse 24 hours a day?Winston: Dreams do not count.And the turkey is named Hank.Base notes of cocoa because of your brown, uh.Nick: Not like a ghoul.
Nick: Yes, I am.Jess: You heard me!Sarah: Have you ever given anyone plow chops?Nick: Say it with me.He brewed me like a fine chamomile.Or not wear because sex happens naked.Sea salt, because it kind of sounds like Cece.
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Jess: I am almost done.Why are the two of you even together?Probaby the slut butler, right?Maybe you were right.Nick: Uh, Jess, this is Caroline.
Sweet older woman: True dat.Sweet older woman: You can take mine.Nick and I are friends.Unless they dig for it.Who would want to throw this away?Jess: Oh, what am I gonna do?It gives me confidence, it gives me muscle definition.
Can you believe I found this on the street?Is it really bad?Oh, um, preferably of Asian heritage, very bendy, with a heart of gold and a crotch of gold.Portsmouth to Port, Kansas!Thank God this thing comes off this afternoon.Saxon Winter Privilege Night.
Winston: You know what?Jess: I thought we talked about you not wearing your shower diaper in the kitchen.Jamiroquai tattoo on my butt.Schmidt: I thought about bangs and your face just appeared beneath them.Winston: Why do you wanna see it?
WikiquoteI think you should sing all the time.Jess: The only thing you have to do is distract my dad.Schmidt: Can I ask you something?Eye of the Tiger.Hey, what are you doing in here?Amanda calling me back.Sarah: Are you in love with my dad?
Winston: Do we have to steal my moustache trimmer?Can I try this on, please?Jess: Great choice, Remy.New Girl is an American television sitcom, which aired on Fox from September 20, 2011, to May 15, 2018.Everything I know about sex, I learned from Spencer or the Clinton impeachment trial.
You want me to do a voice?Jess: I had the best sex of my life last night.Jess: It was nothing.Jess: Did you call me a ninny?Gandhi, a real Gandhi.
Jess: I know having your teacher dating your dad is weird, um, but I just want you to know that, um, you can ask me anything.You sound like dog being stepped on.Jess, you know nothing about sports.Winston: I got, like, three of those things.Clerk: Oh, the starfish.Schmidt: As an adult male, I would like to ask you a few questions about, you know, the downstairs girl cookie.
And I hate your pantsuit.Um, so did Amanda call you back?Winston: At least you can hide your pogo in a shoe.Jess: I got the dirty twirls, Schmidtty.Winston: You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost.Winston: We grew up together.
You are hot, hot, hot.You never make a move.Winston: Only the penis baby, only the penis.Horse semen in Dubai is gold!It was really foggy, and I kept making eye contact with her nipples.Last night, Chaz and Sutton got in a fight.
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Cece: With a simple.Seems a little steep.Schmidt: Just a little color.Cece: Is this a sewing kit?Nick: Never get caught without a safe word.
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We need to go out.Schmidt: Hey, Winston, tell him what you have.Schmidt: You are a gynecologist and a lesbian, which makes you.NPR on the radio: He used a cigar as a sexual aid with her in the Oval Office area.Nick: That is the ugliest dress I have ever seen, Jess!
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She comes for us all, that relentless bitch!Cece: Remember when Christmas used to be fun and all I had to do was worry about my drunk uncle asking me out?Winston: Whoa, hold it!Only think about hot new CFO every other time I masturbate.Julia: Are you done?
Ken dolls down there!Jess: Why do you have to ruin everything, Nick?This is my chance.Julia: I mean, I can try.Starfish eat coral polyps.It was me, having sex.
Nick: Schmidt, are you crying?Nick: Anybody have a jar?Jess: No, sir, I do not know what that is.Nick: So much doing it.Jess: I need your help.
Nick: Okay, not in Swedish.Jess: Well, my answer is yes.Jess: Andy and I have been sending each other some pretty dirty texts.Jess: Of course I like him.Schmidt: Oh, lot of tongue.Cece: Very proud of you, Schmidt.Chinatown and slice him off a piece of this pumpkin pie, okay?
Nick: My coat makes me say things like that!You wanna look a little bit more bored, tired, just altogether disengaged.Get ready for a night you will never forget.Jess: Hello, weather service?Jess: Hot, hot, hot.
To me, it looks like a meth sandwich.Nick told me it happened to him, like, like, a bunch of times.Nick will make a fantastic Underpants Captain.Cece: Come to the professor.Schmidt: A blind man who suddenly recovered his sight?Jess: You know what, I love running this group.Jess: I brake for birds.
Nick: Uh, this is where you work.Jess: Sutton and Chaz are not a couple.Winston: Yea, but he did love me more than he loved you.Jess: Nick kissed me.Guys my age always wanna skip the date and just go right for the gold.Jess: I want to do all the things that you do in a bedroom, with him, okay?Schmidt: Are you wearing a traditional sari?
Schmidt: You consider me a sexy man, correct?This coat has clean lines.Nick: But, only topless.Sam: Oh, thank you!What are you doing in here?
Did we get robbed by giants?Do you like him?And the butt drinking and the.Cece: Why are we here?Julia: Your whole thing.Kyle: Done with her hair?Nick: Okay, look, it is perfectly fine to watch TV all day.
Nick: A parent trap takes weeks of scheduling.Being brown, you have the wisdom of a thousand white women.Cece: Okay, what did you just say?What Angie and I have together is pure anarchy in, like, a sexy, cool way.Jess: And it has room for your hips.Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?And he was using the toilet, full sit, no door.
Walt: I already got people standing by to take the horse off our hands.And Russell, my life is just as important as your life.Schmidt: You have too much joie de vivre.The book: White Fang.Nick: After you, Jess.Nick: Just update your résumé, you ninny.Schmidt: I begged you to wear a sari.
Schmidt baby would be like.You just hang out with jerks like Gavin.Cece: Okay, let me help you with that.Jess: Yes, Uncle Pradeep.Read resolution number four.
Cece: Just pay, Jess.Jess: I deserve to have a shorty on the side.Nick: Get out of my room.Did I do that?